I have jumped ahead a bit because the next section of pages just drove home the ideas of rewards. I think we understand the good and bad effects of rewarding ourselves for our work. I want to move forward and touch on other things. I found a section on page 170 that talks about holding ourselves back. Grab your cuppa and fill it with some high intensity go juice, find the nibble stash in the breakroom that very few know about. Be nice and don’t take too much. Pick up your copy of Around the Writer’s Block by Rosanne Bane and clear some time to think about what we are about to cover.
We have all heard the question, “When you are old and gray tucked in your deathbed, what will you regret doing or not doing?” To blazes with ‘old and gray.’ What will you regret next year for not doing today?
On page 170, Ms. Bane gives us a list of things we tend to put off or not do. Are any of these weighing on your mind?
- What am I afraid to write?
- What do I believe I could never write? Have I ever tested myself to see if that is true?
- What do I most regret not writing? When I am 80, what will I most regret about not pursuing?
- What do I wish I could write?
- What writers do I admire, and what do they have that I wish I had?
- In my fantasies, what awards have I won? Pulitzer, a Newberry, a Hugo, a Pushcart?
We shape who we are as writers. We shape our behavior by putting in thousands of hours of practice. So, why do we limit ourselves. My fear(s) were to write murders scenes and shhhhh (sex scenes). **BLUSH**
I truly believed that I couldn’t pull either of them off in any way. But my second book, Sin Full, which will be coming soon, contains both- A LOT. I gave the 1st, 2nd, …, 9th draft versions to trusted friends and beta readers. These are people I trust to tell me the absolute truth. Believe it or not, the scenes were not only good but believable (to them).
I was so afraid I couldn’t do it that I held off for years. I felt shame in the idea of writing such graphic topics. I finally realized I read those topics. My friends read those topics. They are everywhere so why can’t I be one of the people to write it.
Stop putting off the amazing things waiting around the corner. I would rather look back from my deathbed and laugh at the crazy things I have done than regret all I missed out on because of fear. We need to stop tip toeing around the things we want and learn to step out into the light and follow the path designed for us.
I read a book once, shocking I know, that spoke of the obstacles that will stand in our way of pursuing our dreams. One of the obstacles is us. Our fears, our lack of confidence in ourselves, in our abilities. We focus on how we were raised, and the beliefs instilled in us on what is right and wrong. The book, The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkinson,has a heavy religious voice, but taught me a lot about my dreams and who was blocking my path. Initially, it was me. I had to learn how to get out of my own way. I had to decide that on my deathbed, I would have no regrets.
The Dream Giver: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B001QA4S38/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
Around the Writer’s Block: https://www.amazon.com/Around-Writers-Block-Science-Resistance-ebook/dp/B0085DP1LM/ref=sr_1_1?crid=38GVERKCE9FNX&keywords=around+the+writers+block&qid=1573055391&s=digital-text&sprefix=around+the+writers+blo%2Cdigital-text%2C166&sr=1-1
2 thoughts on “What will you regret when you are 80?”
I love this! And I love the quote “Do something every day that scares you.” This quote and the thought of having regrets both push me outside of my comfort zone frequently. And what a rush when you actually accomplish something you’ve been fearful of! Thanks for the reminder, my friend!
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Thank you for all of your wonderful comments. I appreciate you and miss your face.
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