***Don’t worry~ for those that are interested, or care, the casual question of the day will be at the bottom. Cool? Cool.***
Today’s post may turn into a bit of a rant…or a HELL of a rant. Not sure yet so ~
Really? I get it. I do. I wanted my children to be the BESTEST at EVERYTHING they did. But, the reality was, they weren’t. They have their strengths and I helped them focus on those areas in their younger years, but to be on a team to just be there…taking up space…sitting on the bench…never actually participating…? Oh, HELL NO! Being in a team activity isn’t free. You have fees and uniforms and time and driving. It ain’t free so you should have to EARN that spot. You should have to go to a ‘tryout’ event and prove that you have the skills to be a valuable part of that team.
When did we stop teaching our children the value of earning something? When did we stop making them work for it? If your child wants to be on the “team” then they need to meet the requirements. Okay, so, when I was young they still had tryouts and I did NOT make the team. Do you know what I did? I practiced more. Worked harder at the skills necessary to make the team. I didn’t get handed a uniform. I didn’t take up space. I did not sit on the sidelines. When I did make that team, one year later, my uniform was dirty. I had sweat on my brow. I earn my spot on the team.
What are we teaching young people by tossing them free entrance and a trophy for no work or effort? What does that do to them in the long run?
- It teaches those with actual talent that they don’t matter. The fact that they have the skills and practice and drive to be good at something doesn’t matter. Lil’ “participant” wants to be on the team too. Why expend all that effort? What’s the point?
- It teaches those that did not and do not practice or apply themselves to earn the skills necessary that it doesn’t matter either. I don’t have to try. I’ll get everything I want and not have to work for it.
- How does that play out when they are in the real world? Do they expect their boss to hand them a $100,000 a year job right out of school that requires no skills on their part whatsoever?
- Should they get an Oscar for going to see a movie? They weren’t in it, but hey, they took the time to watch it. Where’s my Oscar?! Do you see what I’m sayin’ here?
This really does bug me. I get that it hurts to not make the team. I know first hand. But, I also know the value of effort and determination. How are we helping our kids by just handing them everything they want and not making them learn the value of earning it? Hard work is valuable. Skills and knowledge are powerful tools to have.
It makes me sad to see a child sitting on the sidelines with a pristine uniform because I know they have never touched the ball or ran on the court. They haven’t played the sport they were so desperate to be a part of. How is this a good thing? What do you say as a parent?
Parent: My child is on the “sports team”!
Me: Awesome! What position do they play?
Parent: Um…the bench?
I am a writer. I practice every day. I read and read and write. I may never win an award but I am doing everything I can to sharpen my skills, so that, when the day comes, and I am successful- I know I earned it.
Okay~ Well that was tense.
Let’s do the Casual Question of the day…shall we.
#6. What fictional place would you most like to go?
Oh My God~ this is sooooo easy to answer. NARNIA…because when I am done with that amazing fantasy world where I can have tea with a badger and a political conversation with a horse and can live there for decades, I can then return home and be the age I was when I went there!!!
Age reversal. Young again. Unicorns. None of this is a bad thing. Narnia! Here I come.
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Until next time…
Find joy. Be joy. Enjoy.