Forgiveness walks hand in hand with trust. If you don’t have trust for someone, can you truly call them friend? We have all had a ‘friend’ that’s done us wrong. They take, sleep with your partner, and talk poorly behind your back. Here’s a tip. If they talk crap about someone to you, they will talk crap about you to someone else. Writing the backstabbing friend is easy but how do you write the forgiveness part of the scene? Don’t worry, I don’t know either. We can learn together after…you know what comes next.
COFFEE!!! Yes, it is time to grab that dusty, empty, sad cuppa and join me in the kitchen for a refill. I am sorry to say my flavor choices are limited. I am working hard on the sadness that is my diet. Some of those flavored pods have some serious calories. Yikes! Any-who, grab a cuppa and dig for some nibbles. I have sugar free (more sadness) puddings, fig newtons (YUM), Everything bagels, and plenty of veggies for my vegetarian friends. Grab what you want or steal something awesome from a coworker’s lunch sack. I saw nothing. Nope. Ooooo…is that a Nutter Butter– nope, none of my business. Now meet us out on the reading rug with your copy of Creating Character Emotions by Ann Hood. We are on page 63.
First, we must create a scenario where one friend ‘wrongs’ another. Is it a wrong or a misunderstanding? I have lost friendships over misunderstandings. How they were rebuilt were through conversations and explanations. In most cases, once we understand the ‘why’ we are more capable of forgiveness.
There are three main factors in a fractured relationship. One, the act. Two, the person who done wrong, and three, the person who forgives. Keep in mind, anything can be forgiven if you want it to be. I have read stories where a character willingly marries the individual who killed someone close to them. The key is in the details.
What was the motivation for the murder? Was the victim a bad person who was going to hurt their friend? Was the killer protecting the person they married from being wronged? There is a big but here, ain’t there always, BUT, the character doing the forgiving needs to build to that point. If they are open to forgiveness to easily it will be hard for your reader to accept. It shows weakness in the character. If they build to it over time and through learning why things happened the way they did, the reader can swallow the forgiveness a bit easier. How it’s done can show a few things about the character. Are they weak by forgiving too soon? Strong for building to it and finally seeing reason? Are they doing it out of the goodness of their heart or are they insecure?
Do you forgive a cheater who is standing before you as her lover sneaks out the door? You can, but it will not ring true if it is done on the spot. Forgiveness needs time to build in your character. Give them time to process, and to accept what was, and to find a place in their heart for what can be.
- Take my example and write a scene that can lead to forgiveness in that situation. It doesn’t have to occur quickly, it can take months, even years.
- The goal is to show the forgiveness in a believable context.
- Take this list of possible acts and find a reason for forgiveness for each:
- Infidelity
- A slap across the face
- Reading someone’s mail / looking through their phone
- Taking money from their wallet
- Accidently killing someone
- Intentionally killing another
- Forgiveness relies on cause and effect for believability.
- Just because your character forgave the one that wronged them does not mean they will rebuild their dead friendship. How will your MC explain they forgive the wrong done but will not reintroduce them into their life?
Polish your sparkle and keep twirling.
Find joy. Be joy. Enjoy.
I’m always looking for new friends!
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