Thank you dictionary.com for your help with this one. Kinda. Not really cuz this one still confuses me but let’s hope I learn something along the way.
Word of the Day:
- the state or quality of being fond.
- tenderness or affection.
- doting affection.
- a liking or weakness for something:He has a fondness for sweets.
- Archaic. complacent credulity; foolishness.
I need my cuppa filled now. I need to be alert and ready to learn something I struggle with. Let’s go fill that cuppa and grab a nibble or two. I had a great mango, pineapple, and banana smoothie for breakfast, but it does not replace the aroma of a fresh, hot, creamy cuppa. **sigh** Anyway, grab whatcha need and meet me out on the reading rug with your copy of Creating Character Emotions by Ann Hood and a note pad. You might need to take notes with this one. I know I did.
As I read through this, the example that stood out was a pair of old jeans. You love these jeans. They fit comfortably and they are your go to pair. It’s all about that worn-in feel. Well, in an odd way, that is fondness.
Okay, let me tell you MY version of fondness. To me it is ‘the friend-zone.’ Hear me out. I know everyone sees the friend-zone as a bad thing but that is only if there are secret feelings. I’m talking about the love you have for another person, but you have no desire for them. Like, you wanna hang out with them, share wonderful moments with them but never cross that line into intimacy. I have felt fondness toward men and women. I can say that without issue, knowing the Hubs will read this, because no lines were crossed.
Say you are in a relationship, but your partner isn’t a fan of your favorite band, but your go-to friend is. That is when you go to the concert with your friend because you share something special. It doesn’t mean you love your partner less it means you and your friend share something that your love interest does not.
This is the connection that removes physical pleasure and intimacy. But you must be careful in this area. It can be risky if you and your friend are not clear where you stand. You can drift into the cliché of unrequited love. Writing this becomes a minefield of words. It is the difference between writing, “I feel safe telling you…,” and “I only want to talk to you.” Yes, these feel very close to one another. The difference is feeling safe sharing information with someone and wanting/needing to tell someone something. I feel safe telling my bestie a secret, but I have a want/need to share everything with the Hubs.
“I like/love you but not like that.” ARGH! This is the most overused go-to when walking the line between like and love. I like tea but love, love, love coffee. I like/fond of my friends but love the Hubs. He thinks everyone loves him. We will let him continue feeling that way. But if I were to write the difference between like and love, fondness, and intimacy, it would start with cuddling.
We have had movie night with friends, but I don’t sit next to any of them. I sit tucked under my Hubs arm and cuddle throughout the film. I throw popcorn at my friends and share looks of understanding because we share history together. Sometimes all it takes is a look to get us all to roar in laughter. The Hubs just looks at us like we are nuts (he’s not wrong). I then go back to the safety of the Hubs’ arms. Cuddling is an intimate act. It is something I will only share with him. The fondness with my friends shows itself with the knowing looks. It’s familiarity without crossing the line of physicality.
Exercises to figure this emotion out for writing:
- “Birds of the same feathers flock together…” – we are more comfortable sharing our personal space with people like ourselves. Take a situation with two people and build reasons why they might bond.
- 2 college freshmen away from home for the first time.
- 2 racially or ethnically different kids in a neighborhood.
- 2 homosexuals in a corporate setting.
- Write a scene where your character is trying to decide if they are fond of or in love with another character. Show how they decide between fondness or lust.
- Have them mull over the details of their emotions.
- Make 2 lists. One list is everything you love about your bestie and the other about someone you have intimate love for. Don’t hold back. Go to town with the details. The details matter. You need to find the difference between the emotions.
Welcome to the confusion that is FONDNESS.
Polish your sparkle and keep twirling.
Find joy. Be joy. Enjoy.
I’m always looking for new friends!
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Universal Code for O-B*tch-uary: https://books2read.com/u/bOZe8o
Universal Code for Sin Full: http://books2read.com/u/m2Vdqd
Author Page: amazon.com/author/nellawarrent