These next two issues have a larger impact on writers than you think. It has rubbed me raw a few times.
First: Not being taken seriously.
What does this look like?
“Oh, you’re still doing that?”
“I wish I had the time for a hobby.”
“Anyone could write a book if they had the time.”
“Are you any good? Are you sure?”
“Do you really think you can make something of this?”
“Seriously? Like, you think you can make a living from that?”
“Don’t quit your day job.”
These are just a few comments I have heard. I have a signing market this Saturday and I know, like, I know I will hear a collection of these things. But it truly hurts when it comes from those you love. A stranger may sting my ego but my family and or friends can cause me to doubt and hide my dreams. This isn’t limited to writing. It’s any form of art. I can say I had doubts about my amazing daughter and her art, but then I slapped that extraordinary work on the cover of Sin Full to show her I have learned and understand the journey and the struggles of creation. Let the harsh words of a stranger roll off your shoulders and keep pushing forward. What would have happened if Stephen King or Neil Gaiman listened to doubters? All those beautiful books would never have been put into print. How sad.
We are all creative in some way, not in the same way, but in some way. Why must we hide what we love? I was afraid to put it out there. Can you imagine a world where we didn’t find it necessary to crush the dreams of another? In my critique group, one of the rules, if you read it a few days back, is to never crush the dreams of another. Critique the work, never the person. Stand with the creative and help them grow. They are not your competition; they are your partner in the process.
This partner needs a refill. The cuppa is sad and looking at me with an open scream of emptiness. Wow, I am feelin’ myself this morning. Come on, friend, let’s go get that refill and a nibble. I am having a wonderful bowl of cubed watermelon. That is one of the joys of warmer weather. Fresh produce. Amazing fruits and veggies that fill my smoothies and bowls. Mmmm…help yourself. I have plenty to share. Get what you need and meet us out on the reading rug and let’s prepare for our next problem.
Second: Lack of Support (Partners)
I am blessed in this area. The Hubs has had my back from the beginning. The first novel, O-B*tch-uary, was a challenge he gave me. It started out as a joke and grew into a book and his support grew with it. Not everyone is as lucky as I am. It is a struggle for some when the person they hold dearest do not support them in their dream chase. I am guilty of this but have learned to support the process.
Yes, another diet analogy: As you all know I have been learning to live a bit healthier. The lack of support in this area would be the Hubs wanting to go and get custard every night.
How does it look for creation? This is when you have planned time to write, and your partner decides that’s when they want to do something that requires your help or is loud and disturbing. They do everything they can to distract you from the word chase. This can be extremely disheartening.
This can be a very serious issue to the heart of the creator. All I can suggest is to have a real heart-to-heart with your partner and ask them to understand your dream. Explain how you would support them in theirs. Explain what you need from them and how they can help you. Your goal is to find time for your dream and schedule beautiful time with them. Dusting and dishes can wait. You can mow the lawn in two hours, after you take your scheduled time to create. Live the life you want, now.
Show them you want to include them in the journey. The Hubs reads what I write every day. He is the first to red pen the problems he sees and pats me on the back when I need it. He has also been known to bring me fresh coffee when he thinks I might be running low. See, I’m lucky. I hope you are as well. If not, I got your back. Reach out. Let’s chat.
Polish your sparkle and keep twirling.
Find joy. Be joy. Enjoy.
I’m always looking for new friends!
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