I’VE BEEN INVADED!!!

Image result for brown recluse

I’m afraid of very few things:

  1. Clowns- cuz why would you think this was cool? Did your school counselor tell you that it would be the perfect job for you?  If so, you need to sue.
  2. Falling- I’m not afraid of heights. I am afraid of falling for an immense height…like 3 feet or more. But, I have learned to deal with this one.
  3. Sudden loud noises- duh.
  4. AND…spiders! Not the little shits that hang out in the corner of the ceiling. Nope. He’s cool. Not the little skittish spider that was hiding out in a dust covered box. Nope. He’s cool too.
  • Now- if the spider is the size of a tennis ball- HIT IT WITH A CAR!
  • If it can cause a part of my body to rot off if bitten- KILL HIM, HIS FAMILY, HIS LOVER’S FAMILY, AND THEN BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN AND MOVE TO ALASKA. The hubs won’t move to Alaska… 😦
    • I have killed two of these ^^^^^ (not the hubs) in my house the last few days. Two brown recluse spiders were chillin’ in my crib, like, “Bitch, get me a sammich.” NO.

SAVE ME!!!!

begging

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