I’VE BEEN INVADED!!!

I’m afraid of very few things:

1. Clowns- cuz why would you think this was cool? Did your school counselor tell you that it would be the perfect job for you?  If so, you need to sue.
2. Falling- I’m not afraid of heights. I am afraid of falling for an immense height…like 3 feet or more. But, I have learned to deal with this one.
3. Sudden loud noises- duh.
4. AND…spiders! Not the little shits that hang out in the corner of the ceiling. Nope. He’s cool. Not the little skittish spider that was hiding out in a dust covered box. Nope. He’s cool too.

• Now- if the spider is the size of a tennis ball- HIT IT WITH A CAR!
• If it can cause a part of my body to rot off if bitten- KILL HIM, HIS FAMILY, HIS LOVER’S FAMILY, AND THEN BURN THE FUCKING HOUSE DOWN AND MOVE TO ALASKA. The hubs won’t move to Alaska… 😦
  • I have killed two of these ^^^^^ (not the hubs) in my house the last few days. Two brown recluse spiders were chillin’ in my crib, like, “Bitch, get me a sammich.” NO.

SAVE ME!!!!

Author: Ticia Rani

I am...interesting. I am a writer, dreamer, mom, wife, veteran, friend, villain, and the wearer of many hats, but I don't look good in hats- go figure. I LOVE TO WRITE. I want to tell stories. I want to make you laugh, cry, and scare the crap out of you, and make you ask "why the hell did you do that?" I want to make you cheer my characters on or want to shake the crap out of them for things they say and/or do. I want to bring you along for the ride. Ready? Set?...READ!!! View all posts by Ticia Rani