Gym Etiquette

sweat stain        Lessons in Gym Etiquette

  1. If you get up from a machine and leave a sweat stain the exact size and outline of your body…WIPE IT OFF. Gross! That’s what those handy little wet wipes are for.
  2. If a person is wearing headphones or ear-buds don’t attempt to chat with them. They can’t hear you. If it’s me- DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CHAT WITH ME. I wear ear-buds to block out the world around me so that I can work out and think. How else do you think I plot murder scenes for my books? Geesh. YOU are part of the world around me. Move on.
  3. Just because I am wearing said ear-buds does not mean that I can’t hear you. So, making crude or ridiculous comments about my appearance or the weight that I can lift thinking I can’t hear you is just plain stupid on your part. If we want to make judgments about people based on their looks then I would say that you haven’t seen your dick without the aid of a mirror in at least a decade. Being big does not equal strong. You are not barrel-chested- you just look like a barrel.
  4. Yup- I’m a girl. I pee sitting down, but that does not mean that I can’t beat your ass. No, I did not pick up the 100 lbs weight by mistake. “That’s too heavy for you, sweetheart,” is the dumbest thing you can say as I am standing there holding that exact weight.
  5. Men- if a woman is on a machine that puts her closer to the floor, please, do not approach and put your sweaty ball sac in our faces as you try to chat us up. We aren’t listening. We are trying to stop ourselves from punching you in said sweaty ball sac. Standing there like you are an ad for Captain Jack while smiling down at me is only going to fast track you to the E.R. Have some pride, man!

These are just a few of the etiquette rules that were broken today while I attempted to work out. I’m sure I will be adding to this list…cuz people are gross.

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