Mistranslations in Texting

Does anyone else have this problem? You are texting with someone and they get pissed at you for something you have sent and you can’t figure out why. You reread and reread but still can’t figure it out so you have the balls to ask-

Silence…for what seems like an eternity, but in reality, it is only minutes. You sit there watching those three little dots bouncing on your screen, which means they are typing a response. Wait- why is it taking so long…wait…it stopped, annnnddd…the dots are back. Did they delete their first message and start over or did they need to read what they already wrote cuz it was so frickin’ long they lost their train of thought! ARGH!!!

When the message finally comes through your get: You should know why I’m mad.

Wait, that’s it? That’s all I get after watching those dots bounce around for the last fifteen minutes.  BTW- if I ask if you are mad, chances are I have no clue why and need you to fill in the gaps for me. If you are mad and I am the cause and I ask if you’re mad- THAT MEANS I WASN’T AWARE THAT I DID SOMETHING.

This is why texting sucks big, hairy, monkey balls. There is no inflection. No “side-eye”. No way for the other person to know if you are joking around or dead serious. This is why we have: LOL, JK, and Emojis.

We have to explain when we are joking so you don’t get your panties in a twist.  Sarcasm does not translate well into texting. I am constantly having to add smiley faces and LOL’s to all my messages because people’s feelings get hurt. You know who you are texting, right? You know I am blunt, honest, sarcastic, snarky, funny as hell, and tend to not care what falls out of my mouth, yet, you seem surprised by my text messages…? Why are we friends?

I believe that texting has removed a skill set in our modern world, the art of conversation.

Sure you can ask a quick question and get a response just as quickly, but if it is going to take 37 texts and 2 hours of my life for you to decide where we should have dinner than just call. It will be faster and I can get back to watching my toenail polish dry. But people today act as if answering a phone call is so inconvenient.

Do you know what’s inconvenient? Having someone misunderstand a text and then get pissed at you for their misunderstanding. That’s inconvenient. Trying to fix something that shouldn’t have happened in the first place is INCONVENIENT.

I miss talking to people. I miss sitting down with a friend and a pot of coffee and just chatting about everything and anything. Random topics that bounce around and confuse anyone within earshot. I miss hearing laughter. Seeing an emoji laugh is not the same thing. Reading ‘LOL’ just doesn’t cut it sometimes.

Do you know that saddest thing I have seen recently?  I went to dinner with the Hubs and he pointed out that at every table people were on their phones and not talking to one another. We saw a family of four sitting in a restaurant that wasn’t engaged with each other. They stared at their phones the entire time. Why?  We wonder what has happened to the family dynamic- I saw it. We don’t communicate.

We no longer teach our children how important it is to have ‘face time’ with the people in our lives. We shove an electronic device in their hands the moment they have enough dexterity to hold one and let that be the babysitter. It is a constant source of stimuli that doesn’t involve another person. Little Jonhy or Joany are crying- stuff a smartphone in their hands. What happened to interaction with parents or letting the child learn to self-soothe or being creative or GOING OUTSIDE TO PLAY?

I use to think that cell phones were an amazing tool in our modern world- now- I think they have caused more harm than good. I spend more time trying to get away from it. When I go out with the hubs, it’s all about face time. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the other 50+ social media sites can wait.