I’m still learning.

Things I still haven’t learned at 47…

I turned 47 one week ago today and I still don’t know everything. Shocking, I know.

  1. Two back surgeries clearly means I can’t do everything (or at least I shouldn’t try too).
    1. I can’t beast-out at the gym EVERY day.
    2. I can’t do a 15 mile bike ride and then hike for an hour. (Ummm…ouch)
    3. I can’t wrestle with a Great Dane and think I won.
      1. What I did learn is that I can now spend the next few days flat on my back bathed in Ben Gay.
    4. People can be assholes. I thought for sure I knew this already, but…nope.
    5. Not everyone is polite. Nope-
      1. If you are at the checkout counter- GET OFF YOUR PHONE!
      2. If you are talking about something private- MOVE AWAY FROM PEOPLE. I don’t need to hear that you give better head than his current girlfriend. Seriously. Gross. And…how would you know…? Just askin’.
    6. I can’t make everyone happy.
      1. I don’t know why? I am kinda cool.
    7. No matter what I do my kids will find a reason to blame me. LOL
      1. No – really.
    8. Still learning how to put werds on paper (computer screen) without sounding like I barely speaka da engrish. I has tha dumb.
    9. ‘Like’s’ on social media do not prove my value. NOOOOOOOOO…Like my page! Like my werds! LOVE ME.

I am a work in process.

WARNING! Self-destruct will activate in 5, 4, 3, 2,…

bang

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